As many of you may know I haven’t updated my site in quite some time. This doesn’t mean that I have forgotten about it. Quite the contrary, I have been thinking about it quite a bit. My thoughts on the site have been on how to restructure it for my potential future demographic consulting business. This will be the focus going forward for the site, and I hope to have it updated by the beginning of the year. There may be in a delay in this due to my work ramping up in my current role, but I want to set this as a goal. With this, I plan on archiving my blog by the end of the year.
Why am I choosing to archive my blog? First, my original goal was to use my website for both personal life coaching, and the demographics business. I have since decided I do not want to do personal coaching. I absolutely love helping others, and I feel my story can be an inspiration to many. However, at the end of the day, I can’t make people do the work they need to do in their own life. I will get back to this later. The blog was meant more for my personal reflections and to encourage others to use my coaching service. Since I am going more into a professional direction with the site in a data and technical field, it is no longer appropriate to continue to have this on the site.
Why don’t I want to life coach anymore? Years ago, I considered psychology as a career. I love the topic, and I enjoy listening to others. Helping others is also something I enjoy. Ultimately though I chose to go a different route. Part of the reason for this is I am an empath. At the time I didn’t know what the word empath meant. Merriam-Webster defines an empath as, “one who experiences the emotions of others.” Back then, I knew I personally felt people’s emotions whether they were good or bad. At the time, I didn’t know how regulate these emotions, so I decided psychology was not a good route for me.
Today, I still feel a career in a psychology related field would be a bad route for me. Life coaching certainly falls into that realm. While I have healthier boundaries in my life now, and can regulate my emotions better, I am still an empath. Therefore, I don’t want to let just anybody into my life. I’m happy to help those close to me, but I can’t assist everyone.
There are some people who seek life coaching that need a psychologist instead of a life coach. No matter how much coaching they get, and how much work they put in, they will not solve their issues. A life coach cannot assess mental disorders, nor do they usually come up with effective solutions for mental disorders. They can help with coping mechanisms, but at the end of the day, these people need the assistance from a professional who understands mental disorders. These potential clients I do feel sad for because they want to be better and improve themselves. They just often need someone other than a life coach to get them there.
There are other groups of people that often seek life coaches that I don’t feel as sorry for though. These are people I want to avoid in both my professional and personal life. They are energy vampires. These are people with a victim mentally, and people who are too lazy to do the work, yet bitter that other people who have done the work have what they want. These people often seek life coaches because they want a quick fix solution, validation, or a pat on the back. Instead of this, they need a swift kick in the ass. They truly have no desire to change, and no amount of life coaching they get will encourage them to do so.
With energy vampires, they just want you to feel as low as they do. As an empath, I need to avoid these people because I don’t want to take on their energy levels which can happen subconsciously. These people thrive of negativity. I don’t. I have created a hard boundary with these type of people in my personal life. Therefore, I want this in my professional even less.
For the people with the victim mentality, listen I get it. You had something bad happen in your life. I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life too. Some things can be extremely tragic and traumatic. However, while you have been victimized, you can choose how the narrative is going forward. Do you let the events of your past define in a negative way, or do you take them as a negative life experience that can lead to potential growth where you can possibly help yourself and others avoid a similar fate, or advocate for others who have suffered? If you are still being victimized, get help, but not the help of a life coach. Get a doctor, police, psychologist, or whoever else specializes in helping others in that arena. When you have shed the victim mentality, then a life coach can help you, but not before.
With the last group, the people who want a quick fix and think a life coach is going to make it happen, you couldn’t be more wrong. A life coach can give you great advice. They can tell you best methods for tackling the challenges in your life, but if you aren’t going to do the work for yourself after getting the advice no one will help you. There are no magic wands in this world. I have personally transformed my life both personally and professionally because I worked my ass off. I am not lucky to be where I am at today. I have earned this through my hard work and choices. I confronted the uncomfortable emotions I had inside. I have faced my demons of my past, and still fight them to this day. I asked myself the hard questions and have made changes where necessary. I went back to school and worked hard and made sacrifices to get the career I have now. If you aren’t ready to endure challenges to better yourself, you are wasting your money on a life coach and wasting a life coach’s time. Therefore, don’t expect results like mine if you aren’t willing to do the work like I, and many others, have done.
With all of this, I know life coaching isn’t for me. Like I mentioned earlier, I am happy to help those close to me in my life. I also hope people can look to me as an inspiration, and that they want to turn to me for advice when appropriate. However, I just can’t let anybody and everyone into my life. Life coaching opens too much of that up for me. I only wish to open this door for a select few. Hence, no life coaching. I’m only giving “coaching” to friends and those close to me going forward.
With the blog, it will be up until the end of the year most likely. Then, I will save what I’ve written privately. I still may write a book about my personal life someday, but it will be a form of expression about how I overcame challenges I had in my life rather than an offer to coach others.
In closing, I know life coaching isn’t for me, but I know my demographic and data skills are second to none. Therefore, this is my future path. Be on the lookout for my site update, but do not be on the lookout for blog updates. Thank you for reading.
Entry – September 9, 2021