A NEW GOAL – A BLOG RESTART

I am back behind the keyboard again. No, I am not talking about the type of keyboard where Billy Joel gets bread in his jar while using. That would be a nightmare of sound for all involved. I have decided to start writing again. This is the rebirth of my blog

Originally, I created a blog to promote a self-help/life coaching type of business I wanted to start. After some time, I realized this was not the direction I wanted to go. Therefore, I made a writing called “My Last Blog Post” two years ago, and I was done with my site. Eventually, I took my entire blog down as well, so it has not been publicly visible for quite some time. (NOTE: I have decided to repost the older blog posts to go alongside this new post).

So why did I choose to restart this? Writing is my creative outlet. I become a better version of myself by being able to express my thoughts in writing. I become better because I am able to capture my mindset at a certain point in time, and then later reflect on why I felt that way in that moment. In restarting this blog, I reread all of my previous blog posts. Most of these were written two and half years ago during the pandemic. Since writing some of these posts, my life and views on a few things have changed. So have some of my goals and aspirations. This is a good thing and changes through time are normal. The best thing about re-reading these, (besides correcting a few grammatical errors), was refreshing my mind on what is important to me at my core. Hence, I have decided to share.

2023 has been an interesting year for me. In March, I got laid off from a job I had just started 5.5 months earlier. It took 11 weeks to find and start a new position on June 12th. My savings took a hit, and I will need to rebuild, but the good thing is I was prepared financially for such an emergency. I was able to even work in two vacations as well during my time out of work. One vacation was already planned and paid for before being laid off, and the second I was able to take before starting my new position as the HR department with my current employer needed time to perform a background check. This allowed me to finish a goal of taking my son to every state. I am grateful for this time, and the memories will be ours forever.

Also, my son became a teenager this year. This has led me to reflect on the idea that his adulthood isn’t that far off. In less than 2 years he’ll be driving, (15 is the age for a permit in SC and 15.5 for a license). In just 5 years, he will be a high school graduate finding his way. I will always be his father, but I will not be fully responsible for him anymore. How do I want my life to look at that time? A few years ago, I wanted to travel the world living a month in different locales. Two years ago, I felt like I may just want to stay put and live in my current home forever. Now, my vision is different from that as well. In 5 years, a few more incantations may take place as well. Who knows? The only thing I don’t know is how to answer the famous question of “where do you see yourself in 5 years.” All I have is an outline and hopes of what I want life to look like at that time. I hope for good health, financial security, good people in my life, and for my son to be proud of who he has chosen to become. I also have a vision about where I want to live. I’ll circle back to that.

With being laid off this year it has also reaffirmed my current choice of lifestyle. I have always been one to live below my means. I do not need a lot of superficial things to make me happy. In my home, most of the things are my son’s and not mine. I can be happy living in a small place with just a bedroom, bathroom, closet, kitchen with appliances and washer and dryer. I could’ve bought a much bigger home than I purchased 5 years ago, but instead I chose a small older ranch because I didn’t want to be a slave to my home payment. This has paid off tenfold. My home value has gone through the roof, and by paying extra on my mortgage, there is an end in sight for paying off the house. Besides raising my son, this is my number one goal in my life at the moment, and unless I have other unforeseen financial circumstances, it should be paid off in 2.5 years with what I pay extra on my mortgage.

While these are my main goals, they are not my only goals. Previously, I mentioned that I had a goal of visiting the 100 largest metro areas in the US. I have completed this goal. I also mentioned wanting to spend a night in every US state, Canadian Province, and on every continent except Antarctica. I have since decided to not worry about the Canadian provinces. With that, I just have Iowa left in the US for a night, and somewhere in Oceania for the continents. The only other travel goal I have is to take Kellen to Japan which is his dream trip. While I will always love to travel, it is now less of a priority to me. So, as far as travel goes, that is it for my travel goals. It may seem like I have few goals at the moment, but this is not the case. I have decided to focus on getting certifications for my job. This doesn’t sound too exciting, does it? Actually, it is.

For me, I do have other opportunities I want to pursue in my life. By adding to my skills and getting these certifications new doors will open. I will be eligible to move up at work, which in turn will help raise my salary. I will potentially be able to get other offers as well, (not that I am looking as I wish to stay in my current role for a while because after all I just started). The end goal here is to have the skills that will get me where I want to be physically, financially, and career wise. Career wise, I want to be in leadership again, and I want to mentor others. My current role is considered a management role, yet I do not manage anyone. Financially, I’ve seen my salary grow exponentially already. 25 years ago, I was on a factory floor performing labor work. Now, I am in management at a factory seeking to automate our processes, reporting, and clean our plant’s data. The reason I have been able to do this is because I have added to my skills and have educated myself. I have skills now I didn’t even have 5 years ago. Education is truly the way to increase your earning potential. I don’t know anyone who made less money from educating themselves. Sure, school may be an initial investment, but if you choose your course of learning program wisely, it is an investment that will pay off. It has for me. Physically, one of the main reasons I educated myself is so I had more flexibility in my work schedule and to be able to work where I wanted. While I don’t work fully remote anymore, I do have a position that will afford me the opportunity to work at home for a few hours so I can drop off and pick Kellen up from school. Would I like to be fully remote again? Possibly, but I have what I need at the moment. Therefore, I think these goals are great to focus on.

With my focus shifting to these goals, I have made some other personal decisions as well. I have chosen not to date much at this time. I have permanently deleted all of my dating profiles. I am mainly focused on friendships now. I feel secure in this, and I don’t feel lonely. I have great friends in my life, and I want to spend my free time with them and my son. I am not depriving myself. If lightning hits and I meet someone, then so be it. I am not going to walk away from it. However, I don’t plan on actively pursuing anything. After all, it may not align with my new long-term goals. I’ll get to that soon.

Also, I have tickets to two more concerts this year. However, I plan to start attending less of those as well. There are some great local bands here in the area if I want to hear live music. While there are some acts that I will want to see if they come to town, I have seen most of the bands I want to see live. Saving my money will be more of a goal for me as I’ll need it for my goals. Therefore, it will not be just concerts I plan to see less of. I will also plan to go out less as well.

So, what does all of this lead up to? Well in 2006 I chose to leave San Diego because it was best for Kellen’s mom and I to live in a place that was our own rather than in the places where we grew up. While I didn’t grow up in San Diego, she did. Also, the cost of having a family out there was astronomical. It still is. Therefore, leaving San Diego in 2006 was the best option. I do not regret this move, and it has worked out well, and I have loved living in the Carolinas. It is a great place to live and raise a child. His mom and I have been able to provide Kellen opportunities that we both could have never dreamed of when we were children. While our marriage didn’t last, our love for our son, and our desire to be excellent co-parents to him have been second to none. We make a great team, and our work as parents is still in progress. After all, he just turned 13. However, Kellen is getting older now, and soon he’ll be an adult. With that, I spoke with him and informed him about my future goal. My future goal is to return to San Diego once Kellen graduates high school. It may be 5 years away, but I can start doing a lot of the things now to put this plan of action in place.

I loved my time in San Diego. Yes, it was expensive, and it still is. However, San Diego is one of the most beautiful cities on Earth. I don’t mind living with less to live somewhere I love. Plus, San Diego is perfect for the active lifestyle I have chosen to live. I have spoken with Kellen about my goal, and he has indicated he would like to move there too someday. With college on the horizon for him in 5 years, surprisingly right after he graduates may be the time for us to move. After all, tuition in California is half of what it is in South Carolina. If we live there a year before he starts school, then he’ll be in state. It would be worth it for him to have a gap year, and what better place to do so than in San Diego. Plus, he already has family there as well. Hence, the goal is to return to San Diego, and the actions I am taking now will help to potentially provide the opportunity for me to do so. I am excited about this direction in my life.