MOVING TO A NEW PLACE (NEON DREAMS)

Above is the opening verse from indie musical artist Tyrone Wells’ song “Neon Dreams.” It poses a question many find they internally ask themselves. Many wonder what if I could start a new life in a new city? Then they may go further asking themselves where will I go? What will I do when I am there? How will I make this happen? After Covid, I feel many companies and industries are going to find that they have been able to operate not only sufficiently during this time, but the company performed better as a whole. They will have saved a lot in the overhead cost of maintaining office space by not having their offices open as well. Also, I feel they will find many of their employees have absolutely loved working from home and have performed better. (Personally, I do not particularly care for going into an office on a regular basis. I actually perform better working from home with less distractions, and I get more accomplished). With these advantages for both employers and employees, the workplace in the future may be more location independent leaving people the opportunity to ask these questions about a new city for themselves.

Even before the times of Covid, many often looked to move to another place in hopes of a better life. Myself, I have made four moves in my life that were greater than 1000 miles, (and 3 of the 4 were over 2000 miles). None of these moves were forced moves such as a company moving, and I needed to move to keep my job. All were by choice in hopes of finding something better. The prospect of someplace new can be exciting. It can offer opportunities we did not have before. It can offer us the chance to be in a place where we can be around more people that have similar personalities and interests. It can offer a better standard of living or quality of life. It could place us closer to friends or relatives we would like to spend more time with as well. The reasons for a move can be endless.

Do you have “Neon Dreams” of moving to a new place? If so, it is important not only to understand and choose where you want to move but understand the reasons why you want to move. It is also important to ask how you can make the move happen and what you plan on doing after you make the move. All of these are important to answer so the light from your neon dreams does not burn out. Here are some suggestions on some factors to look at when answering these questions.

People have different dreams so what may be great for one person may not be so good for another. This is certainly the case when choosing a new locale in which to live. Many people dream of living near a beach, but if you have a child that is a hockey prodigy would the shores of Copacabana Beach in Rio be a place you want to live? In this case a place like Minnesota with many lakes that freeze over in Winter would be a better dream choice. Want to live somewhere affordable where you can raise a family economically? Then, would you rather choose California or Kansas? If you love hiking in the mountains, then Nepal would certainly be a better choice than England, but if you were an up-and-coming footballer, (or soccer player for us Americans), wanting to perfect your game, then the opposite would be the case. Hence, it is important to ask these questions before a move.

In my first move, I relocated from the Louisville, KY area where I grew up to San Diego, CA. At the time, my goal was to get my master’s degree from a top-notch school. I had plenty of different factors I needed to consider before choosing where I would be. First, I did not have a lot of money, nor did I make a lot of money at the time. Therefore, I would need to choose somewhere affordable. Also, I wanted to live in a new place and experience life in another city. I spent most of my life in the Southern Indiana suburbs of Louisville, and again I wanted to experience living somewhere different. In this new city I wanted there to be plenty of entertainment options as well. I also of course needed to be near a school that offered both a good Geography program and opportunities for employment.

On the surface, San Diego offered me all of these initially with the exception of affordability. San Diego State had, (and still has), one of the top Geography programs in the country, so there was a check. The metro area, (not including Tijuana), has over 3 million people and lots of businesses, so there was plenty of work opportunities. On top of that, San Diego of course it is known for its beautiful scenery, weather, and beaches. Therefore, entertainment was not an issue. Finally, it was 2000 miles from Louisville so I would be able to experience living life in a quite different place as well. The only thing I had left to account for was the cost of living. However, surprisingly this worked out as well once I read deeper between the lines.

At the time, (2002), my rent in the Louisville suburb of New Albany, Indiana for a one-bedroom apartment was just $325 a month. In San Diego, the cheapest places in a safe part of town were starting around $700 a month. Therefore, it seemed like it would not make economic sense to move there. I considered looking at commuting to Bloomington Indiana, or moving to Austin, Texas or Raleigh, North Carolina to go to school there. However, in the end I chose San Diego. It turned out when looking at additional factors it was actually the least expensive option. At the time, the California State University system did not charge tuition for in-state students. In-state students just were charged fees. Hence, while everything else related to living expenses were more expensive in San Diego, the cost of education was much cheaper once I officially became a California resident. My yearly fees for school were $1800. To compare, a year at Indiana University would have cost me $7000 in tuition and fees. Plus, I would have had to commute an hour and half to Bloomington or move there. Bloomington is a college town, so there would not be a lot of job opportunities there unless I wanted to commute 45 minutes to Indianapolis. In looking at the cost, a year at Indiana would have been $5200 more than San Diego State. My rent a year would have $3900 in Indiana compared to $8400 in San Diego. Doing the math: $7000-$1200 = $5200 and $8400-$3900 = $4500. Hence, it was $700 cheaper for me to live in San Diego in the long run. San Diego was also cheaper than the other cities as well when looking through this lens. Therefore, it is always important to make sure you look through all of your lenses when choosing where you want to move as sometimes the lenses reflect the light differently than you may have expected. This way you ensure you make your best choice.

For this move I knew where I wanted to move, (San Diego), and why I wanted to move, (to get a master’s degree). These were good reasons to move. However, not all reasons are good reason to move. Why you want to move is important to ask as well. I will get back to this later, but for now I will move to how to make a move happen.

In keeping with the same move from Louisville to San Diego, once I decided to move, I then needed to ask how can I make this happen? I did not have a lot of savings at the time. I had debt, and I did not have a job or connections waiting for me in the city. I did not know a lot about the city to know where the good or bad areas were either. Therefore, I had to develop a plan.

First thing I felt I needed to find was a job. I was recent college graduate, so in my naivety I thought jobs would grow on trees for me. I especially thought this after I got an offer from the first job I applied to. I felt it was a sign of great things to come my way. However, this position did not work out. I will get back to this.

The next thing I felt was important was to find a place to live. I wanted to be close to where I was working, close to the university, and live somewhere safe and affordable. Therefore, this was the next step. I found an apartment right down the street from the campus, and it was not far from where I would be working. Therefore, I felt this was falling into place as well. All I needed to do was to get some money for a cushion to assist me with this so I could make my budget more affordable.

Being that I had debt, and that my rent was going $375 a month higher, I knew I needed to redo my budget. I would be making a little more than I made previously in my new job, but it still was not enough to account for the cost difference. Therefore, I got an installment loan to consolidate all my debt, and I also got some additional cash as a safety fund in case something went wrong. This was one of the smartest decisions I made before the move.

After having the job, apartment, and finances in place the last thing I needed to do was ship my belongings. Thankfully, the company I was working for in the Louisville area had a deal with a freight carrier, and I was able to ship through them. I received the company’s 76% discount. This saved me about $1600. It is important before a move to look for discounts anywhere you can as moves are not cheap, and expenses add up. Sometimes discounts can be found in the most unexpected of places. It is important to save money when you can.

Four years after this when I left San Diego to move to San Antonio, I had a similar experience in saving. Many were leaving California already in 2006, so the one-way moving truck was quoted at a price of around $1500 to go from San Diego to San Antonio. I decided on a whim to price moving trucks from Las Vegas to San Antonio. The price was $720. Guess where I got my moving truck? Yes, I drove 300 miles to Vegas to pick up a truck, and then drove 300 miles back to San Diego. The cost of that San Diego to Las Vegas trip was only $200, plus I got to stay a night in Vegas. Not a bad deal.

Getting back to my move to San Diego, I was now set to move. I packed my stuff and had it shipped. It was supposed to arrive 2 days after I got to the city. It was a great plan that came into place; however, things do not always go to plan. After shipping my belongings, getting the apartment, and getting the loan I received a phone call 2 days before I was leaving for California. It turns out my employer lost their funding to hire me. Therefore, I did not have a job I was going to. I had a choice to stay in Louisville and try to get my old job back, or to go anyway in hopes of finding another position. I decided to go. I did not find a job until a month after my move, and then it was paying less than I made in Louisville. Since I had no work experience in the field in which I got my degree, I was not getting job offers as readily as I expected. I took a job that would provide income until I could find what I wanted. It was a struggle at first, but thankfully I had the plan for the extra money for the move as I needed all of it. My bank account at one time got to 97 cents. It was a struggle, but I made it. If I did not have a plan, then I would have failed. Hence, if I did not ask the how can I make this happen, not only would I have failed, but I would have been potentially homeless. It never came to that, and eventually I pulled my way out of this hole, but it was not easy, and the move would have never been successful without proper planning.

When asking how to make a move, it is important to know where you are going to live, what areas of the city meet your living criteria, how you are going to afford your move to your new place, where your income source will be, how you are going to move your belongings, and finally plan for the unexpected to happen by having additional funds on hand.

After you make your move there is one more important factor to consider. What do I need to do to make this move a successful one? Before answering this, it is important to remember why you wanted to move in the first place. This will lead to answering what you need to do to make the move a good one.

There are many reasons people want to move to a new city. Some reasons are good, and others are not. In some cases, the move is being forced such as a job relocating, taking care of a sick family member or friend, or needing specialized health treatment. In other cases, it is a choice to have better weather, to be close to someone special, to further your career, or just simply because you like the city. None of these are wrong or unhealthy reasons to relocate. However, there is one reason that may not be a healthy reason. This is to escape your current life.

A new city can be a great opportunity to start new again. It can also be an opportunity to get out of bad situations. The witness protection program in here in the United States is a good example of how this can be effective. There are some though that think a new city is going to solve their personal issues. In most cases this tends not to be the case. If you do not address the root of a personal issue, then a new city will not solve the issue for you. If you struggle with your weight living in Louisville, then moving to San Diego is not going to solve your weight issues. Yes, there more options that lead healthy lifestyles in San Diego, but unless you address the real issue, which is your struggles with food, then just being in a new city is not going to help. Neither will a new city help you solve the issues of selecting unavailable lovers, be unjustifiably untrusting of others, or having an unaddressed mental condition. Therefore, make sure the reasons you are wanting to make the move are healthy ones.

If your move is healthy, (well even if it is not), it is then important to develop strategies to ensure it stays that way. When moving to a new city it is important to establish new friendships, (even outside of people you already know in the city), learn your way around the city, learn where you want to go and where you do not want to go, and find the activities and places you wish to enjoy.  You do not want life to be solely online with people you knew in your previous city. In some cases, when you have friends, family members, or co-workers already established in your new city this helps. However, many that move places that do not have this. In my four long distance moves I established myself great in two cities, and two I did not establish myself. Here are some things I learned from my experiences.

When moving to a new city, the importance of finding people who you can count on cannot be underestimated. Humans are social creatures, and we need others in society to help us thrive, (yes that includes us introverts too). When it comes to these relationships, you must take the first step to meeting others. You will not meet others sitting at home on your couch watching TV. There are a multitude of places you can meet others. The first people I suggest meeting is your neighbors.

While your new neighbors may or may not become close friends, they are people you will see on a regular basis. In most neighborhoods, on a basic level, neighbors will still look out for each other even though statistics show neighbors are not as close as they once were in society. The reason neighbors often look out for each other is they do not want the quality of life or standard of living to decrease where they live. If they know you are a good neighbor, then they will not want you to move. After all, who knows who might move in if you leave. One of the side effects of this is they will often want to make sure you are happy with where you live. This means they will often advise you on basics of your neighborhood such as places to shop, eat, find entertainment, and places to avoid. When I moved to San Diego and to Charlotte, I got to know my neighbors. These were my two successful moves. When moving to San Antonio and Seattle, I did not. These moves did not work out. There were other reasons as well San Antonio and Seattle were not the right places for me, but I feel the fact I did not form close relationships or get to know my neighbors played a factor.

Besides getting to know your neighbors, it is important to find activities you will enjoy in the area. This is how you can find friendships. Do like to dance? Find a dance group. Play hockey? Then join a league. Is there something you have always wanted to try but have not such as knitting? Find a group or teacher to learn from. In Charlotte, after my divorce I joined many Meetup groups and developed a lot of strong friendships I have to this day.

Another activity to not miss out on is happy hours with co-workers if they have these. Even if you do not drink, you could always grab a bite to eat with them. This helps your coworkers get to know you a bit, and often makes your coworkers more drawn to you in the office. One of my coworkers became one of my first friends in San Diego. Eventually we grew apart because life took us different directions, but he was there for me when I was establishing myself in the city. I will always be thankful for that friendship, and I will always call him a friend even though I have not seen or spoken to him in 15 years.

You should also find the places you want to go and want to avoid. Where will you grocery shop? Where will you go to the movies? Where will you go to gym or do anything else you want to do? These are not activities you necessarily need to do with others, but these are important things for your basic life needs and your soul. In San Diego, I used to love to drive the Pacific Coast Highway. There was a place at the time on the road near Torrey Pines where you could park your car and overlook the ocean. I spent a lot of time there reflecting about life and enjoying the sound of the ocean to relax. I also discovered Cowles Mountain inland for hiking. Even though I was not in shape yet at that point in my life, I loved hiking the mountain for the views I got. For shopping there, I learned quickly Foods 4 Less was less expensive than Albertson’s, but Albertson’s had the better-quality products. Other places for me I discovered were my doctor’s office, the place I went to watch NFL games on Sunday mornings, my favorite bookstore, and much more. I found my places, and in moving to a city it is important to find yours. What you do after moving to a new place is every bit as important as what you do before and during a move.

In short, if you have those “Neon Dreams,” of living in a new place, then it is important to ask yourself some questions. Where do I want to live? Why do I want to live there? How can I make it happen? Once I am there, what will it take for me to establish myself? By asking these questions your Neon Dreams of moving to a new place will have a better chance of continuing to glow.

Entry – February 20, 2021